The Unlived Life is Not Worth Examining

From pop-culture to philosophy -- there is no limit to what can be made fun of.

Trollers keep on trolling, I'm gonna keep on LOLing.
Anime kiss
lochjar

So I almost got into an argument over the internets yesterday.  Everybody's had one of these experiences, right?  Stupid troll takes a completely ambigious statement; "american idol was nice last night" and turns it into a pointless argument.  "american idol is stupid becuz blah blah got voted off i can't believe that sh**t and anybudy hoo watches it is a retard. so STFU."

Now let it be said that an internet argument is a SIN.  In fact, it should be added to the seven deadly sins.  There should be Pride, Lust, Gluttony, and...getting into it with a stupid troll.  Nothing is worse than typing out a long-winded, snarky comeback and then sitting there boiling in anger, waiting for the other person to submit and say, "You're right, O smart one, how could I ever have questioned you?" only to find, three seconds later, an equally long-winded and snarky comeback sitting in your inbox.  Well, what did you expect to happen?  An apology?  Did you expect the other person, once confronted with your amazing logic, to suddenly become smarter?

Ok, so that being said....
I couldn't resist a little jab at this troll person.
I said, "STFU?  You mean, stay tuned for ukeleles?"
And the saddest part is, I just wasted a clever, witty response on someone who could never appreciate it.

But while we're at it -- LMAO.  Lend me an ostrich!



I love God, but -- Churches ARE MESSED UP.
Anime kiss
lochjar

 Okay let me tell you about my own experiences with church.  Once upon a time I was on this U14 soccer team.  Every Thursday the parents would drive us kids to soccer practice and then set up their lawnchairs next to the soccer field.  They would sit and watch and wait for practice to end.  All these parents sitting in a row, and finally, they began to talk to each other.  The parents started out talking about their kids and soccer, but it moved on to other things.  The discussions were so lively and there was so much laughing.  The parents stopped thinking of soccer practice as a chore but as a treat.  They had formed a friendship, a "community" of like-minded people, I guess.  The women talked about the new jewelry store, the men talked about their jobs.  Eventually they got to talking about God.
One woman in the group was married to a pastor and they were planting a church in the county.  They invited everyone in the group to come meet at their house every Sunday morning, and that would be their "church" for now.  I guess the idea of seeing their newest friends more often appealed to them.  They all said yes.  Including my own mother.  So I ended up going, too, along with some of the kids from my soccer team.
It was terrible.
We showed up and they gave us these tiny little cookies.  The pastor and his wife were "very disappointed" in the people who didn't come.  They put on some fuzzy music and we sang/mumbled along.  They told us to sit and we sat, they told us to stand and we stood.  They got out their Bibles and started reading to us, started preaching.  The kids had to sit through this too, as we were not allowed to be running around outside.  And when we were done, the pastor and his wife said, "We expect to see you next Sunday."
It was just like a church.  Except, that was what was wrong.  We didn't like sitting down, standing up.  Or clapping when we were told to clap.  Or having people who had been friends before, now being our "leaders" and talking down to us as if we were the sheep and they were the shepherds.  And the whole thing went on for three hours, early in the morning.
We didn't come back.
Now the pastor and his wife aren't speaking to us.
This is what churches are like.  They would have been better off continuing their fellowship by the side of the soccer field.  They were all equals then, everyone participated and got a turn to speak, no one was "preaching."  To me preaching is one of the worst, worst, worst things about church.  I hate preaching.  Read me something from the Bible and let me discuss it with you, let me ask questions about it, but don't start talking AT me and expect me to listen.
To me, church is sitting outside, sharing a watermelon with friends and talking about random stuff.  And what you talk about doesn't always have to be about God.  He should just be there.  If you're looking for God, the church is probably the last place to look.



Writer's Block: Fast-food TV
Anime kiss
lochjar
Are there any dreadfully bad TV shows that you wouldn't want your friends to know you watch? Confess! (This is LiveJournal, where we love you unconditionally.)

AMERICA'S NEXT TOP MODEL.  'Nuff said.  (My male friends ridicule me.)

CAGEFIGHTS.  (My female friends are aghast.)

CHEESY ANIME.  (Everyone makes fun of me.)

Look, just because about $50 of production was put into making some of those anime and just because the sound quality is horrible and the dialogue is unbearably cheesy, doesn't mean I can't enjoy it!!


Avril Lavigne
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lochjar
Why is Avril Lavigne awesome? Because her songs are catchy, fast-paced, and actually have a drum beat. I'm a drummer and I can't tell you how many songs have been RUINED for me by the plastic, one-two, one-two beat in the background. Hitting the snare every now and then is not playing the drums! And if you're feeling crazy, you might even use your high-hat! Or your crash ride!
But I digress.
*Sigh*
Anyway, Avril Lavigne's bandmates are actually real people, instead of electric sound put in by the computer. (I'm looking at you, KATY PERRY.) And she can actually sing!! In a way that sounds good!! (Still looking at you, Katy.)
And...this should not be as rare as it is, but really, it's pretty rare -- she WRITES HER OWN MUSIC. How many female artists do that? Hardly any. Their job is to look pretty and let the computer take care of the "music" in the background. (Yep, Katy, here's to looking at you.)
So let's give a big hip-hip-hooray to a young woman who actually knows what she's talking about when she says she's a singer! Well done, Avril Lavigne. And I know the song's pretty old by now but I'm going to be listening to GIRLFRIEND full-blast in the car for a very long time.

Writer's Block: Time for competitive eating!
Anime kiss
lochjar
If you could start an alternative sports team in your city, what "sport" would you choose, and what would you pick for your mascot?

I would make a Futsal team.  Futsal is a fast-paced form of soccer with only five players to a team and it's played indoors on a basketball court.  And their mascot would be a frog.  I dunno why a frog, it just seems fitting.  :)

Some advice for all of you...
Anime kiss
lochjar

One of my favorite things to do is give unsolicted advice.  So from my Advice Corner I have a bit of advice for all of you...

Don't name your kid Darcy!!!

EVER!!!

And the kid in question is not even a girl.  It's a boy.  What kind of moron names their MALE child after a sad excuse for a man gotten out of a chick-lit book for girls who love to read about dresses and parties?  Let me put this more simply.  Darcy is a fantastic name.  I actually love the name.  Unfortunately, it has this image attached to it.  The image that I see in my mind is a man with sideburns, a big nose, ruffs around his collar and a butt flap on his coat.  Plus the boots with the high heels.  I may be biased because I dislike Jane Austen, but really.

Name the kid Buttmunch.  It would be less ridiculous than Darcy.



Writer's Block: Mother Monster returns
Anime kiss
lochjar
In three words, how would you describe Lady Gaga?

Wannabe, immature, pathetic.

Fullmetal Alchemist. You should be watching.
Anime kiss
lochjar
Well, it's May 21st and I'm not dead yet.  Thank goodness!  I still haven't read or watched all of Fullmetal Alchemist!!!  The rapture will have to wait.  Let me tell you why you've GOT to get into FMA.

First, read the manga.  It's a story about two brothers who can use alchemy (which is sort of like magic, although they call it science.  But they can make things pop out of nowhere and stuff.)  One alchemic ritual goes horribly wrong and Edward loses his arm and leg and Alphone loses his body, ending up as a soul in an empty suit of armor.  If that makes sense.  And throughout the series, just so you know, Edward isn't hopping around on one leg or anything, he gets a metal leg and arm which makes him look Uber-Cool.  I would say, read the manga just for the Edward character.  He's strong, he's brave, he's funny, he's the cutest young man hero you'll ever see, and he gets in more heart-stopping fights that you can count.  Fighting the forces of evil, of course, which just happen to be the 7 sins.  Each bad guy is named after a sin.  There Pride and Lust and Envy and....well, that's not important.

Second, watch the anime called Fullmetal Alchemist:Brotherhood.  It follows the plot of the manga.  It has epic music and lots of close-up shots of pretty boy Ed, which made me very happy.  Plus the action scenes are just awesome.  Lights flashing, fists pumping, leaping and soaring and dodging...great fights, I tell you.

And third, watch the independent movie called, "Fullmetal Alchemist, Conqueror of Shamballa."  It really has nothing whatsoever to do with the original anime or manga.  It stands on its own.  Go watch the trailer, it'll make you want to watch the movie SOOO BAD.

Okay, so that's how to get hooked on Fullmetal in three steps.  If this didn't work for you, whatever.  But I freakin' love that show.

Writer's Block: Apocalypse now?
Anime kiss
lochjar
It's the beginning of the end, according to Harold Camping. How will you spend what could be your last day on Earth?

If it was my last day on earth, I'd scour every inch of the planet until I got my hands on Fullmetal Alchemist, the last volume, Maximum Ride, the last volume, Bleach, the last volume, and Sister's Grimm the last volume.  I'd read them as fast as I could.  I can't die wthout knowing how those series end!!

ROLLER COASTER CHESS.
Anime kiss
lochjar

There's gotta be some things you want to do before you die, right?  Well, here's one for ya.  And why not just do this next week?  Or the next time you're on a Roller Coaster?

Why don't you play...

ROLLER COASTER CHESS!!

Yes I saw this online the other day.  You know those snapshots they take of people at the end of roller coaster rides?  So these guys had this great idea to glue chess pieces onto a chess board and sneak it onto the roller coaster with them.  During the photo snap, they whipped out there chess board and struck a pose, looking thoughtful and calm whilst playing chess ON A ROLLERCOASTER!!!  I laughed so hard when I saw this.  And apparently this caught on enough that tons of people are doing it now, and sending in their pictures to funny pics websites.  You can even see this guy with shaving cream on his face SHAVING on a raft ride!!  Forget about raising breast cancer awareness.  Get out the chessboard and contribute to the great phenomenon!  And then -- send me a pic!



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